I think it's fair to say that I'm in midlife. I rotate between surprise that I'm old enough to have been a homeowner for 11 years, a parent for 10, and a teacher for NINETEEN, and a distinct feeling that "I'm too old for bullshit." I feel young and curious and old and world-weary all at the same time.
In the midst of all of those feelings, Pamela Redmond’s “30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time she’s 50” (Parade Magazine Sept 17, 2020) came into my life. I was 42. I looked at her list and saw lots of things I’d already achieved (I worked at Victoria’s Secret in my teens and as a result I’ve always had an appreciation for owning nice underwear, for example). I wanted to keep up those habits I loved as I worked towards creating new ones, and that’s how this list was born– a way to keep an eye on my goals, & share with my friends who are also “of a certain age.” My plan is to be able to check every one off by 50. With that in mind, you'll start seeing articles over on the blog about some of my goals, &
Here's the list!
1. Balance between respect for yourself and respect for others when you communicate and make decisions.
2. Something you’re incredibly proud of accomplishing and something you’re incredibly excited about accomplishing in the coming years.
3. A bank account that’s just in your name that you manage and care for and add to and spend from without input from anyone else.
4. Something expensive that you don’t need but you really want that makes you feel special every time you look at it.
5. An appreciation for how to live alone, even if you don’t like to/have to/want to.
6. “A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age… and a memory that makes you cringe….because those memories were lessons that brought you to here.” These ideas came straight from Redmond’s article. I wanted them on my list, too.
7. A child or mentee who trusts you & who you get the pleasure of watching grow.
8. A journal/album/sketchbook/whatever form works for you full of your deepest thoughts and favorite memories, both big & small.
9. Knowledge of how your body wants to move and a dedication to giving your body what it needs to keep you going as you get older.
10. An understanding of what looks good on you & what makes your body feel good.
11. A person you can call when you’re anxious, when you’re stressed, & when you’re proud and want to brag.
12. Role models– be they women or men, admirable for their personal lives or their professional lives (or their ability to balance the two).
13. Tricks to make un-fun (yet necessary) activities more tolerable- or maybe even joyful!
14. A recipe that you love to feed to people and a deep knowledge of what you love that nourishes you.
15. A list of songs that you can get absolutely lost in– mind, soul, & body.
16. A to-do list that never gets completely checked off, & to-read and to-watch lists long enough to guarantee that you’ll ALWAYS have something to look forward to.
17. “A passport… Up to date and ready to be stamped for the next adventure.”
Here's the list!
1. Balance between respect for yourself and respect for others when you communicate and make decisions.
2. Something you’re incredibly proud of accomplishing and something you’re incredibly excited about accomplishing in the coming years.
3. A bank account that’s just in your name that you manage and care for and add to and spend from without input from anyone else.
4. Something expensive that you don’t need but you really want that makes you feel special every time you look at it.
5. An appreciation for how to live alone, even if you don’t like to/have to/want to.
6. “A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age… and a memory that makes you cringe….because those memories were lessons that brought you to here.” These ideas came straight from Redmond’s article. I wanted them on my list, too.
7. A child or mentee who trusts you & who you get the pleasure of watching grow.
8. A journal/album/sketchbook/whatever form works for you full of your deepest thoughts and favorite memories, both big & small.
9. Knowledge of how your body wants to move and a dedication to giving your body what it needs to keep you going as you get older.
10. An understanding of what looks good on you & what makes your body feel good.
11. A person you can call when you’re anxious, when you’re stressed, & when you’re proud and want to brag.
12. Role models– be they women or men, admirable for their personal lives or their professional lives (or their ability to balance the two).
13. Tricks to make un-fun (yet necessary) activities more tolerable- or maybe even joyful!
14. A recipe that you love to feed to people and a deep knowledge of what you love that nourishes you.
15. A list of songs that you can get absolutely lost in– mind, soul, & body.
16. A to-do list that never gets completely checked off, & to-read and to-watch lists long enough to guarantee that you’ll ALWAYS have something to look forward to.
17. “A passport… Up to date and ready to be stamped for the next adventure.”
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