Recently, I was reading a post in a teacher community, & I think I found a great way to illustrate how I've changed with each decade.  Here's the question posted: 
How would you respond to a coworker who doesn't put her best effort into giving feedback on group work?
Here's how I'd react to this question during each decade:
20-something me:  Worry if I give enough feedback when I assign group work
30-something me: Think "Jeez, lady, she's probably figured out that the only kid who reads the feedback on group work is the kid who did the work & that kid probably doesn't need the feedback."
40-something me: Write "Tell her 'I'm sorry you have such a judgmental coworker'" and POST it.​

There is a new tab at the top of this page-- It's called "Before 50," & it's a passion project of mine. It's definitely a work-in-progress... you know, like me. I'm in a pretty good place with my mid-life status, & I feel like I'm making some of the strides I want to make at this point in my life. I wanted to write them down to hold myself accountable & inspire others to do some good things for themselves as we head towards the next milestone. Head over there for more, & thanks for following along!

I cried yesterday, and I absolutely terrified my 10 year old daughter.
    She was mad at me because I said no about something, and when I went to hug her, she tried to duck me and instead, the back of her head hit me square in my mouth. It HURT. I know I shouted out when it happened, and then my eyes instantly filled with tears.  And then they fell out of my eyes, and my kid fell apart.
    While I was in the bathroom dealing with a bleeding mouth and a quickly swelling lip, I was also saying things like, “Try to take a deep breath,” and “I’m ok,” and “I know you’re sorry,” and, in a moment of weakness, “Why is this all about you right now?”. She could not stop crying, and it took about 20 minutes to get us back to where we were.  The good news: she’d forgotten she was mad at me. The bad news: she seemed mildly scarred from seeing me cry.
    I definitely considered myself a crier for most of my life. It was a pretty normal reaction to stress for me (or Sarah McLaughlin dog commercials).  About five years ago, however, I went on a mild anti-anxiety medication, and tears definitely don’t come as easily now. My kids don’t see me cry often, and my husband is not a crier.  They don’t see adults expressing emotions that way very often, and I wonder how that affects them.
    So far, it has not made them less likely to cry, and for that I am grateful.  My kids share their big feelings all the time, and I like to think we do a good job of addressing them.  We talk about their emotions and positive ways to manage them. When a big emotional explosion happens, we ride it out with them and process with them once it passes.  I tell them about some of the ways I handle stress or sadness, like journaling, listening to music, and going for walks. I try to model self-care.
I also recently told the kids that I see a counselor once a month. I have anxiety, there’s a pandemic, I’m hitting midlife… I’m sure my counselor has a bunch of boxes she can check off when she’s putting in the paperwork to my insurance for reimbursement. I benefit from having someone to talk to, and I want my kids to know it’s ok– in fact, it’s good– to admit you need help and get it.  
Maybe they don’t see me cry very often, but I do talk to them about my feelings and they do see me dealing with my emotions in (usually) constructive ways. I’m far from being a model parent, but I like to think I’m doing enough to leave the door open for them to find their own ways of dealing with life, and isn’t that the point of parenting?  Maybe my kids will cope through crying in adulthood, and maybe they’ll find other strategies.  At the very least, I hope they’re better at ducking and weaving when a kid’s skull is headed straight for their face. That’s a skill that’s always useful.

​

#parenting #parentinggirls #momming #momlife #parentlife #momstruggles #motherhood

Every year, I make a reading goal in GoodReads.  This year, it was 45, but I came in a couple shy at 43.  I'm still counting that as a good year, though! 2021 was another wild ride, & I'm glad to have these books as entertainment/ an escape. I've written little notes on many of these to help you decide if you'd like them.  I've added a link to my favorites to encourage you to read them!  Here's what I read in 2021:

-Fiction: 
Squeeze Me- Carl Hiassen
All Adults Here- Emma Straub
​Canceled Out- Jack Beale
Brewed Awakening- Cleo Coyle
Life's Too Short- Abby Jimenez-- she's quickly become one of my favorite authors-- highly recommend!
​The Vacationers- Emma Straub
All the Ways We Said Good-bye- Beatriz Williams- my favorite writer of historical fiction
A Good Marriage- Kimberly McKreight
Eliza Starts a Rumor- Jane L. Rosen
Say You're Sorry- Michael Robotham
Star Island- Carl Hiassen
The President's Daughter- Bill Clinton & James Patterson
​The Palm Beach Murders- James Patterson
Title Wave- Lauren Barrett
​People We Meet on Vacation- Emily Henry
56 Days- Catherine Ryan Howard
The Personal Librarian- Marie Benedict- probably my second favorite historical fiction writer :)
​Murder in the First Edition- Lauren Elliott
Rock, Paper, Scissors- Alice Feeney-- so creepy-- & so hard to put down!!

"Romance"/ "Click Lit"/ Light Fiction:
Christmas Wishes & Mistletoe Kisses- Jenny Hale
Simply Irresistible- Jill Shalvis
The Sweetest Thing- Jill Shalvis
Shipped- Angie Hockman
Paris is Always a Good Idea- Jenn McKinley-- nice jaunt through Europe!
About a Dog- Jenn McKinley
​The Hating Game- Sally Thorne
Rescue You- Elysia Whistler
Anchored Hearts- Priscilla Oliveras - this is actually book 2 in this series.  You might want to start with Island Affair
Passion on Park Avenue- Lauren Layne
Title Wave- Lauren Barrett
​Life's a Beach- Portia MacIntosh
There's Always a Catch- Stephanie Taylor
No Judgments- Meg Cabot
Mom Jeans & Other Mistakes- Alexa Martin
​Santa Cruise- Fern Michaels
Pride, Prejudice, & Mistletoe- Melissa de la Cruz

Middle Grade/ Young Adult Lit:
The Westing Game- Ellen Raskin
Spring According to Humphrey- Betty G. Birney
Nat Enough- Maria Scrivan
The Twits- Roald Dahl- Roald Dahl is always a good idea with kids-- we've listened to this on Audible twice
​Sideways Story from Wayside School- Louis Sachar- Same as above-- listened twice, loved twice!
Walt Disney: The Magical Inventor!- Mark Shulman
The Kids of Cattywumpus Street- Lisa Jahn Clough- my kids loved these characters & making connections between them

Wow- Only 1 Non-fiction Book This Year!
Palm Beach Babylon- Murray Weiss & William Hoffmann

Fun fact about me: I studied writing in college, & I concentrated on children's literature.  I love reading it & I loved writing it.  I took another children's lit course a few years into my teaching career and wrote a story called No TV for Me! that I got a lot of positive feedback about from my classmates. I workshopped it with other people & looked into getting an agent, but nothing panned out & I got busy with life. 
Fast-forward about 8 years, & I really wanted to give that story life.  I found an artist through Fivrr, worked with her remotely for months, & then spent a good deal of time formatting & putting it all together.  Now, I've published it!  I'm so excited to have it out there in the world, & I how it came out.  I'm so excited to share it with you, & I'd love to hear what you think.  You can grab it here.
If you do read it, please add a review on Amazon.  It will hopefully help others find it. Thanks so much for your support!

I started planning our Disney adventure a year & a half ago, with the intention of going in the summer of 2020.  That didn't happen, so I had an extra year to plan, & I felt like I needed it!  Those who've planned before know-- there are about a million & a half details to consider when planning a Disney vacation.  I had lots & lots of time to make tons & tons of decisions.  Here are the calls that I made that I felt really good about:

1.  For me, this was huge-- pick a hotel that offers transportation BESIDES the bus.  We stayed at Pop Century & got to take the tram to Epcot & Hollywood Studios. It's so awesome to be able to switch it up, & it's especially nice right now because you get some safe time riding with just your party.  

 2. You'll enjoy the breaks, too-- don't hesitate to take the breaks.  I planned a day off in the middle of our week & we all enjoyed it. We went to the character breakfast at the Contemporary, road the tram & explored other hotels, & visited Disney Springs.

4. Do a Walmart + delivery!!  I ordered a bunch of things delivered before we left.  I wish I'd asked about how we'd get our food before we got down there because I lost some time finding our things when we got there (it didn't help that somehow Walmart's delivery service had me under my maiden name even though I'd been married for 12 years...).  Our hotel had the food delivered to the spot where you can leave luggage if you arrive early.  I scheduled it for shortly after we arrived & was so glad to have gotten all of that stuff affordably.  We ordered things like sunscreen, bottled water, quick breakfast foods (a must!! So much easier to just grab & go & not be fighting & rushing if you're trying to get to a park as it opens), & easy easy snacks like Pringles & apples. 

5. Bring a metal cup to fill with ice every morning.  I brought my Yeti.  We filled it with ice at the hotel & I threw a couple of extra bottles in my backpack.  We refilled each person's cup as needed & everyone had cold water all along.  

6. Order a pack of pins and a lanyard before you go-- this 4-pack of lanyards was an incredible deal over what we'd pay on site.  It was fun for my kids to swap pins with the staff members in stores, & it would have cost a FORTUNE if we bought every pin there.  This is definitely the way to go, & my kids were smart about trading up to pins they loved.

Good gosh do I love Key West.
I first went to Key West in February of 2020.  A friend & I drove down from Miami, spent a day, & then headed off to another island.  We vowed to return as soon as we could. Then, you know, March of 2020 came.
Fast-forward through all those crazy months to June of 2021 & we made it back, & we've already said we'll be back again soon. Key West has just the right vibe for people looking to enjoy good food, good drinks, independent shops, history, live music everywhere, & water views at every turn (it's a pretty small island).
This time, we got a great flight deal from Jet Blue & flew straight into Key West.  If you can, I highly, highly suggest it.  First of all, the drive from Miami is about 3 hours.  Second of all, the Key West Airport is a small airport that's a real throwback, & you're immersed in the island immediately (you can grab a drink the second you enter the airport :) ). 

If you want to get right into the island vibe, grab that drink & start walking.  If you stay at Hampton Inn, you can WALK to your hotel from the airport-- it's .4 miles away, & you can walk along the water the whole way.  The hotel itself has a nice pool, a great poolside bar/restaurant, & VIEWS.  The breakfast was better when Covid wasn't a thing, but it's still ok, & you can always get coffee in the lobby (#1 reason why I love Hampton Inn :) ).  They also offer a free shuttle to the Duval St area, so you don't have to worry about getting a car or Ubering. 

After checking in & having a relaxing drink by the pool, I'd suggest heading to Duval Street for shopping, entertainment, & dining.  Without question, our favorite dinner spot is Fogerty's.  It's popular & right in the middle of everything, but we've never had to wait to eat.   The food is wonderful.  We got the bruschetta the first night & it was SO GOOD (& a smart idea if you're also having one of their alcoholic drinks).  The salads were fantastic, too.

For brunch, I suggest Blue Heaven.  Get there early... or at least don't get there too hungry.  It's busy, but worth the wait for yummy food & the coolest atmosphere.  We listened to live music while chickens wandered around. It's not gross like it sounds (I may have made a TikTok there if you don't believe me :)-- I"m @BeyondMomJeans).  It just feels chill because that's how Key West is.  Chickens are all over the place, & even though I'm not a big bird fan, I found myself cheering on little chicks as they crossed the street.  Everyone's kind to everyone here. 

My favorite sale of the year has arrived!  If you have a Nordstrom card, you can start shopping on the 16th; if you don't have one, you can start on the 28th.  I have a card, so my big day is almost here!  For more details on the logistics of the sale, click here (my blog post over on Coupons, Codes, & Killer Deals).

This post is about THE GOODS.  What do I recommend, & what do I want to try?  The answer is: LOTS. 
I always buy:
1. A Barefoot Dreams cardigan-- the softest, & they never pill or get less soft. I live in these.
2. Bliss Plush Throw-- these also hold up well to washing. They make a great gift, too.
3. Zella leggings-- they don't sag on me even during a good workout (or a bunch of hanging out on the couch :) )

Those are my tried & trues... & here are the things I've added to my wish list to try out this year.
1. Free People Leo Henley Tee. a pretty, casual long sleeve for fall~
​2.   Sperry boots. really unique colors this year!
3. Bomba socks!!  I have one pair & they really are next-level comfy
4. Sorel boots- Save $70!- I have one pair... but I love them so much that maybe I need two...

Please let us know what you snag!!
#Nordstrom #Nordstromanniversarysale #barefootdreams #sorel #freepeople #bomba #sprerryboots

I went on my first girls' trip (post kids) a few years ago. My oldest friend & I went to Washington DC for three days.  We stayed at a beautiful old hotel on Embassy Row, wandered around the embassies, visited museums, ate sushi, checked out the remodeled Watergate, read, talked about our kids, talked about things other than our kids, and checked out an amazing bakery/coffee shop that a student of mine had recommended.  It was the perfect escape, & we're brainstorming for our next one.

Since that trip, I've gone on three trips with another girlfriend.  We hit up Epcot's Food and Wine Festival for my 40th, & while we were there, I mentioned that Key West was on my bucket list because I was afraid it wouldn't be there forever (darn you global warming).  We decided we'd have to check it out, & went back to Florida a few months later.  We did one day in Key West, 1 in Marathon, & a couple where she had a home in Palm Bay.  From that trip, we learned that Key West deserved more than one day, & vowed to go back.

A year & a half later, post-quarantine, we gave Key West its due & spent three days there (I highly recommend this affordable hotel, btw).  The food, the music, the relaxed atmosphere...I am madly in love with that town (it'll get its own post at some point). ​

 I'm also madly in love with girls' trips.  Here's what I've observed about girls' trips that make them uniquely rejuvenating:

1. Someone else makes half the plans. I know that all relationships have their own divisions of labor, but I think generally speaking, women do more of the vacation planning.  When you go away with another woman, someone else does half the work-- the hotel hunting, the restaurant research, etc. It makes it so much easier to be relaxed going into the trip, & if something doesn't work, less of the pressure is on you to feel bad or fix it.  
2. The packing is easier.  It's just your stuff.  Now granted, my husband can pack his own stuff & does, but I'm currently planning a Disney trip for our family of four & I'm already strategizing about the packing, the weights of suitcases, getting the right clothes clean to get packed, etc. When I'm just worrying about me, I fit everything in a carry on & off I go.
3. Perhaps most importantly, women know women's stress.  We're more intuitive about what another woman might need to really recharge on vacation. I think it's easier for another woman to understand the need for alone time even when traveling together, to appreciate slowly starting your day & having your morning coffee & reading your book.  To enjoy shopping for hours :). 

Now I don't mean to sell men short, & obviously there are exceptions, but this is my ode to girl trips, so of course I'm going to highlight what's awesome about women as travel companions. We rock, & if you haven't traveled with your gals yet, get to it!

Anyone else feel like this as they emerged from quarantine??  I feel like I "get" this doll.

Another quick update-- I posted another article over on Coupons, Codes, & Killer Deals.  I took some time over my February vacation to read about the newest trends for spring/summer. Check it out here! 

I've read a lot of articles from Elephant Journal, so I'm excited to share the first article I published there.  My first article published was about an experience I had with Ginny, so I'm glad that this one is about James.  Kid rearing is always an adventure!  :). Please comment below & let me know what you think about this one. 

I'm continuing to expand my online work, & I'm having so much fun!  Too many ideas, not enough time in the day. I'm exploring new social media platforms to see what I like the most.  So weird... but I think it might be youtube.  Turns out I'm less self-conscious talking than I am taking pictures! Probably comes from teaching synchronistically the whole year...
Covid silver lining? :)
I've linked my new sites below if you'd like to check them out. Please let me know what you like & what you'd like to see more of! Where do you spend most of your online time? 
Thanks!

Hello friends! I've been doing some of my writing over at another website.  I work with four other moms to post lots of deals on Facebook, & we've created a website, as well.  One of my first posts over there was sharing just how much fun my daughter and I have had with the new version of Mall Madness.  Happy reading & playing!

How to Get Started:

1. Select "Subscribe and Save" on any product that offers it.
2. Select the quantity and schedule that works for you (you definitely don't have to get the product every month).
3. Sign up!  You'll want to get 5 to get the maximum discount.
4. You can skip or cancel at any time, so consider signing even if you'll only be getting the product once-- as long as you remember to cancel before your next shipment, you'll just have saved 15% for just a tiny hassle!
5. Before each delivery, Amazon will send you a reminder. This is your chance to cancel or skip, & they'll let you know if any prices have gone up.  You can also change at any time by clicking on "Manage Your Subscriptions"

Bonus! Prime members unlock 20% savings on subscriptions  on diapers, baby food, & other baby gear when receiving 5 or more products in one auto-delivery to one address.

Now for the fun part! What should you get?? 
Let's start with larger ticket items that you can really save some dough by subscribing & saving~

If you haven't gotten to 5 items yet, here are some low-cost items to add to your list!

 It's been a long time since I've written on here... 
but I've been busy. I imagine I'm not alone??   
Life has been complicated, but good.
​A couple updates:
1. an older post from this blog was published!  Check out the final product here:

2. my online presence has expanded on Facebook. In addition to publishing fashion finds on 

I'm also posting on three larger pages. You can get SO MANY amazing deals on both sites from some great women-- I highly suggest you join them all!

I look forward to touching base more often, and I hope this post finds you well!

You can also click below to link to Lightening Deals at Amazon-- they go quickly so grab while you can, & please comment if you find something great!

 One of my favorite sites to explore (for hours...) is Jane.com. You never know quite what you're going to find, but I always find something.  In the past, I've bought myself pajamas, boots, & earrings.  Lots of earrings... :) This time of year, it's fun to use the site to look for things for my guy & my kids. My husband & I try to just schedule some time together for Valentine's instead of gifts, but sometimes that doesn't happen until March... so I often grab him a little something just to say "Happy Day" on February 14th. For the gentleman in your life, check here! 
​Three cool options at three price points that I'd recommend you check out:
Tie: $19.98 shipped
Watch: $58.99 shipped
​Socks: $5.98 shipped!

My husband is a nice guy & all, but I really like treating my kids to a little something special on Valentine's Day, too.  That said, we're still recovering from Christmas... so deals are a big deal for me.  Jane has some children's gifts that are specifically themed for Valentine's Day. Here are a few of those at Jane! I usually just buy the kids a cool little toy that isn't specific to Valentine's so they can use it longer. .If you'd prefer to just buy a cool, unique toy, click below :) . I think the speaker is AWESOME, but I always buy bath bombs when I find good deals because they make bath time fun. I give my kids cups & they do "science experiments" with the bath bombs. 
​Squishy dolls: $6.98 shipped
Rubik Cube Speaker: $19.99 shipped free
Bath Bombs: $5.14 shipped

After you've shopped for your loved ones... check out all the rest of Jane's Valentine awesomeness to treat yourself & decorate your home! Then, comment below & tell us what you find!
Stuff I Love at Jane.com right now:
Love Raglan Hoodie: $29.98 shipped
​Valentine Signs: $9.48 shipped

I read 53 books this year, & 10 made the 5-star list. Lots of them are on sale at Amazon right now, too, so I've linked them in purple if you're looking for a new book!


​The Banker's Wife- Christina Alger
Reminded me of The Firm, but I felt more sympathy for these characters.
My Lovely Wife- Samantha Downing
I grabbed this at the library & devoured it. You know part of their secret from the get-go, but they way it all plays out is crazy.
The Wife Between Us- Greer Henricks
Like My Lovely Wife, you get into this knowing something will surprise you, but the twist here was trickier. I like it when popular fiction is little challenging, & creepy :)
An American Marriage- Tayari Jones
Oprah & Barack Obama both recommended this, & they're smart. I did it as an audio book, & I'm not sure I'd recommend that because I'm not sure I fully appreciated the prose. That said, the "How would I handle this?" questions that came up with this book really got me thinking on my commute.
The Good House- Ann Leary
I've been meaning to read this forever. The protagonist is a realtor on the North Shore of Massachusetts, & her struggles are the focus of the book. When she drinks, she's unreliable, & I think that's what made the book so interesting to me. I was always a little unsure of what was going on.
Becoming- Michelle Obama
So neat to hear behind-the-scenes stories, especially of his presidency. You might want to try this one on audio book because she reads it. I love autobiographies that are read by the authors. (Side note-- listen to Bossypants by Tina Fey, too~)
Where the Crawdads Sing- Delia Owen
Everyone has already raved about this book, so I'm not sure what to add. I guess I will say that I normally HATE books that spend a lot of time describing nature, but I liked this book anyway. That must mean it's awesome.
A Student of History- Nina Revoyr
This book combines both references to classic movies & very timely references to people with money manipulating the system at USC (Hi Aunt Becky :) ). 
Turn of the Key- Ruth Ware
Ruth Ware gets better with every book (you've probably heard of her from The Woman in Cabin 10 or The Death of Mrs Westaway). This book is ssssooo wonderfully creepy. Loved it!
Educated- Tara Westover
Non-fiction about a girl who grew up way off the grid. There are scenes from her childhood you will remember forever, & it's so thought-provoking, too. 

I just finished reading an article from Vanity Fair titled "J Who?" (Summer 2019).   This passage really resonated with me:

"J Crew, at various times in its 36 years, has struck an emotional chord... Today, scratch the surface of many a thirty-or forty something J Crew fan (ahem) and you'll find their inner teenager, waiting for the latest glossy dispatch from a land of just-beyond-reach privilege to arrive in the family mailbox. You couldn't put your finger on it, exactly, but what these people had, you wanted."

This description took me back, immediately, to the summer before my senior year of college. I distinctly remember choosing my first J Crew bikini-- super-simple- plain aquamarine.  It represented my hope that I'd be cool enough to fit into those pictures in the catalog. I would have easy-breezy afternoons with friends on the beach.  I'd be ready for wherever my day took me in J Crew apparel.
If memory serves, they had free shipping at $80, & the suit was around $50. I have always been a total sucker for free shipping, so I also chose a pair of shorts & a tee, but I labored for days deciding, because I wanted it all but was a poor college student & wasn't often buying J Crew clothing.  I wanted to choose the best darn things in that whole catalog. 
Obviously, I dedicated a lot of thought to this decision. I still remember it 20 years later.  Why?? I was about to start a new adventure-- I was spending the fall of my senior year in Los Angeles, & I needed to choose the perfect J Crew tee shirt that fit my fantasies of what that time would be like.   I was single & 20 years old & anything could happen-- & cooler things would happen if I had the right clothes. 
As I read that sentence over, it sounds silly, but let's be honest, we've all believed in the power of clothes to create experiences for us.  Most of us buy new clothes for job interviews.  We treat ourselves to new outfits for vacation.   Every summer, kids & their parents head to stores to choose their clothes for the next school year.  My kids haven't expressed much of an interest in the past, but this year, I've saved up all of my Gap credit card rewards so that they can buy back to school clothes at the Gap outlet.  Since it's kind of free money, I won't feel the need to be practical & tell them what to get.  I'm going to let them get whatever feels good to them. I want to see what their fantasies are for the new school year-- is Ginny still all about dresses?  Is James going to keep going with the collared-shirt look he's been choosing this summer?  What clothes represent their dreams of the next school year?  I may not be looking forward to the blood-sport that it finding the last white one-inch binder at Target, but the clothing part of back to school shopping excites me.  My kids are starting new chapters, like I was back in 2000, & I'm looking forward to  sharing their excitement.  Oh, & we might swing by the J Crew Outlet after.  Teachers need back to school clothes, too~